My poor Dad

Not alone did he lose his wife on Sunday, but his sister Bridie died on Sunday also.

Dad has been my Mum’s primary carer for the last 14 months or so, since she got a stroke in October/November 2005. His whole life has been dedicated to looking after her and he did so with incredible selflessness. It has exhausted him mentally and physically.

These next few weeks and months as he adjusts to his new circumstances will be very difficult for him. We will help obviously as much as we can. I hope it will be enough.

7 thoughts on “My poor Dad”

  1. Tom, if its any help, when my mother passed away (18 months ago or so), my dad had been her carer for about 4 years. We thought he would have a very difficult time but the important thing for him (we found) was to be “of use”. He minds my niece, picks her up from school, cooks the main meal twice a week etc. etc. Belonging, as a concept, is the most important thing now.

  2. That’s a very tough loss for him. He may need something to fill the void. Not that anything can help him to get “over” this, but as PaulSweeney said, he will need more than just staring at pictures and remembering.

    My wife’s mother passed away in late 2005, and her father had to make major changes in his life just to keep going.

    Please give your father our best wishes and condolences.

  3. This will sound odd, but if he’s living on his own, make sure people call the day after the funeral. I remember after my own fathers death that there was a flurry of distractions to keep us busy when preparing the funeral. But the day after it was as if the family had become personas non gratis.

    Even if he isn’t, make sure that people get in contact after that day.

  4. Hi Tom, I just thought that I would send my condolences to you and your family during this difficult time. It’s not a nice thing to happen just after Christmas. Thanks, Jason Roe.

  5. Tom,
    I am very sorry to hear about your losses. May your dad and all your family find the strenght to overcome this very difficult time, and belief that your lost ones are in piece.

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