Via the FaceBook Observer comes this gem:

Free to any kind of home. Lazy, slob, unmotivated, comes with no future plans, does not do chores, parties all night, sleeps all day, curses in his sleep, eats constantly, does not clean up after himself, very expensive, mouthy, knows everything, works sometimes.
Added bonus – own car, full-time girlfriend(no job) and very large black lab.
Let me know if interested, willing to deliver

Having been up for 2 hours last night with a crying 18 month-old, I can well sympathise with the sentiment!

The black lab looks nice, though!